Morgs

See also: Noni Madueke, Big Ben Bads, Nico Jackson and Marc Cucurella.

I want it noted for the record here, your Honours, that Moises Caicedo is in fact the b*llocks and I'm sorry I ever doubted him, criticised him or coated him off.

I'd keep them. Truthfully one of the last positions we need to add is left back. Cucurella is a class act and is becoming the player we all thought he was at Brighton. Chillwell is one of the best left backs in the world on his day and Chalobah and Colwill can both play there as well. Why do we need a left back?

Yes, all broken. Had to send it back. 😞

I’ll have a look into it and revert for the group. Sounds like it is important.

What are the rules and how do they affect the numbers? Would you mind clarifying?

HOW CHELSEA SHOULD MAKE FRIENDS, INFLUENCE PEOPLE AND KEEP CONOR GALLAGHER On the subject of FFP sales to balance the books lets have a little analysis of who is going and how much for while I wait for my DHL package to be delivered. Kepa will go, fee around 11m. Hall will go, 35m. Maatsen the same, 35m. Broja will go, fee around 15m. Malang Sarr and Ziyech will go on a free, Lukaku we'll get around 30m for. Those are the obvious ones. So there you have circa 125-135m. Figure on another 20m or so from a handful of Academy graduates being sold, plus Moreira and a few of the youngsters out of loan. Possibility we'll get 10m+ for Datro-Fofana as well. I'd reckon you could get 60-70m for Enzo no problem right now and the cynic in me suggests him being off in the summer could maybe be a main reason why he chose to have the groin surgery early so he would be fit for when the window opens. As others have said up-thread, he isn't quick or tall enough for the Prem and that isn't going to change. I think we need to cash in. The club are in a tough spot as Cucurella, Chalobah and Gallagher are three players they would have been very keen to move on for nice big fees and all three are playing out of their skins right now and any decision to push them out is not going to go down well with the fans, and you sense with the playing staff either. Chalobah and Cucurella in particular look safe as replacing them with better quality is going to cost vastly more than we would get for them and we cannot afford to do that. So you look at the squad and try to see where you could improve - Sanchez would be an obvious one but we paid 30m for him and we will be lucky to get 20m tops for him, likely not even that. Nice lad, but clearly not Premier League level. Raheem Sterling has struggled and I think will be on his way, but who is going to pay his salary, much less a sizeable fee? If we cannot encourage him to go to Saudi, we'll struggle to move him on. Lets say we manage to get 20m for him. Badiashile looked nailed on for an exit just three weeks ago but has found some form from somewhere to throw that into some doubt, and like Chalobah is in a position where we already need to strengthen. We could get 25m for him but he would need to be replaced. If the club maybe think Bashir Humphreys is ready to take his left sided centreback spot as backup to Levi Colwill then he will go, and we know be has some admirers in Italy. Last one is Ugochukwu who I really like. I think he has something Caicedo and Lavia do not and if I was in charge I'd be keeping Big Les. Doubts over a lack of pace do persist, but he is tenacious, intelligent, hard working, good on the ball and superb in the tackle and is a threat from set pieces. He uses his size and physicality well and I do rate him. But, given that we need to trim the squad and the players we already have at DM, might the club be willing to move him on, given that we would at least get what we paid for him? Potentially another 30m there. In summary I would suggest we have enough there (circa 280-310m if we sell Kepa, Maatsen, Hall, Lukaku, Moreira, Broja, Sarr, Ziyech, Datro-Fofana, Enzo, Sanchez, Sterling, Badiashile and Ugochukwu plus a few of the youngsters who aren't going to make it) to get out of our FFP hole and leave enough to spend probably £200m (plus whatever the club wants to put in) on a top striker, a top centrehalf, a top left winger and a top keeper. The really big call there is moving Enzo out but not replacing him, but I think retaining Gallagher is more important and I think we have all seen enough from Chuwuemeka to say with surety that he is more than good enough to play a bigger role as an attacking number 8 or number 10. He's more mobile, quicker, more physical and scores more goals. Michael Golding from the Academy squad is extremely highly rated within the club and so are Cesare Casadei and Leo Castledine, so we aren't short on options. Another nuance may be the desire from Poch to play Lavia screening the back four and have Caicedo move up a bit, which would mean Gallagher playing the attacking 8 which is another meaningful option. Bear in mind we also have Andrey Santos doing the business at Strasbourg as well who would be a superb addition to the squad if Enzo does go.

Need to lay off the cheese and onion crisps before bed.

PS I had a dream last night that we appointed Jurgen Klopp as our new manager. Cold sweats, shaking, traumatisation... took me ages to get back to sleep.

Rumour mill gathering pace that Poch is going to be replaced. Some thoughts while I wait for my baked bean toastie to toast. Amorim looks the very likely front runner, but can you rule out returns for Jose, Tuchel or even Conte, as was rumoured this morning in Italy. All the latter three are a step up on Poch in terms of organisation, and their ability to motivate players in ways Poch seemingly struggles to do. I think to understand the manager change, or the nuances behind how these things are sorted out we need to look first at what he - whoever he might be - is inheriting. We'd be naïve in the extreme to think the club hasn't already done a lot of its Summer business already, and certainly all the planning and preparation. Those that are being moved on have likely already been discreetly informed. The club will spend 300m+ and likely recoup a lot of this in player sales, so there is money to spend. What will the new manager be getting then? For the sake of argument we start next season with Gregor Kobel/Keylor Navas in goal, Petrovic the back up, a back four of James or Gusto on the right, Chilwell or Cucurella on the left, Colwill and Tapsoba/Bastoni in the middle. Fofana, Disasi, Chalobah and Gilchrist the backups. Lavia or Caicedo anchoring the middle, any two of Enzo, Chukwuemeka and Casadei ahead of them, with Ugochukwu and Golding the backups. Palmer or Madueke on the right, Moussa Diaby/Rafael Leao or Nkunku on the left, with a striker being either Osimhen/Gyokeres, Jackson or Nkunku. You look at that and think, there is a team there. I'm not saying that is who we should buy, just to illustrate where will likely be in terms of squad. So you look at how the team has done and note that the expectations have been very efficiently stripped away so that a top four finish next season would be a massive, seismic result and an enormous step forward for the club. I hate when people (Spurs mainly) say top four is as good as a trophy but for our purposes that is absolutely true. So if you're the new manager you are thinking: 1 - My predecessor wasn't universally liked and I now have an opportunity to become a legend for the fans. 2 - Top four is all they are asking and with the squad they have, that is eminently achievable. But for a dreadful injury run and some horrible, sustained bad fortune this season arguably, Chelsea were in the mix for top four even in their current state and with an over-achieving Spurs and Villa to contend with. 3 - I can earn Champions League club money in wages and bonuses even if the club are not a Champions League team. 4 - London is a beautiful city and my family will love it here. 5 - Cole Palmer. 6 - They have money to spend if I want to bring in "my" players. 7 - Chelsea are still one of the biggest clubs on the planet and the role is a blue chip one, even if the team itself is not doing very well last season. Even if it doesn't work out, it is huge role and will look good on my CV. Plus the severance payment if they decide to bin me will be massive. 8 - Cole Palmer aside, some of Chelsea's big money signings looked lost at the start of last season but have bedded in nicely and started to show their quality a bit more consistently, e.g.: Caicedo, Gusto, Madueke, Cucurella and Jackson. All are likely to improve again next season if managed correctly. The character-building suffering and hardship has in large part already been taken care of. What you have left are a group of angry young players who have to prove themselves, who will be better than last season. They are all a year older, a year wiser and should hopefully make fewer mistakes. 9 - the signings that haven't worked and were causing friction in the camp, eg: Mudryk, Sterling and a few others have been moved on. The club has identified weak areas and systematically gone after improving them which says to me they are progressive, committed and want to win. They make mistakes but they tackle them and make them better. These are people I can work with, even if they do not know much about football. 10 - the club itself is in a bit of an identity crisis and doesn't really know what it is, where it is going, or who it wants to be moving forward. I have an opportunity to stamp my identity on the club as a whole and fill some of that character vacuum myself with my values, my ideas, my identity, my beliefs and my character. You don't get an opportunity to build that very often, and almost never at a top club like Chelsea. 11 - Chelsea have one of the best Academies in the world and have some incredible talent coming through, and that is without speaking about Kendry Paez who will be joining soon as well. Talk about a rich resource. I cannot read these eleven points without thinking the likes of Amorim wouldn't think this is an attractive option. In summary I think the Chelsea manager's job has become such a poisoned chalice that it has come full circle, the expectation has gone and now there is really only an upside by taking it on, not to mention the millions in wages. What do you guys think?

I thought I was the only one who thought that - class player I think. Has a bit about him too, I like him a lot.

....and no. I don't see it happening either. All I see is yet more circus act tw*ttery and vast sums being wasted on dross we don't need whilst we somehow fail to address the things we do need. I expect Poch to become the least popular manager we have ever had and for us to get larruped from pitch to post every game until the end of the season as the players have downed tools. There was a new level of toxicity on X last night and I expect this will spill over in earnest to the match-going crowd soon enough. I suspect the dressing room is already riddled with it. Ive seen worse Chelsea sides in 38 years of following Chelsea over land and sea, but never been so negative and despondent about Chelsea in that time. Its like watching someone you love slip into dementia. It hurts so much but I don't recognise her any more and she doesn't know who I am any more. She is a different person to the one I fell in love with and have stuck by in sickness, health, thick, thin and enjoyed the best times of my life with. Every blank look she gives me hurts me more, when I talk to her about the times we used to enjoy. I try not to think about it but cannot help the plunging feeling that when the end comes, it will in some ways be a release, an agonising relief.

GK - NEW KEEPER , Petrovic, Bettinelli LB - Cucurella, Chillwell RB - James, Gusto CB - NEW SIGNING, Colwill, Disasi, Chalobah, Humphries, Gilchrist DM - Lavia, Caicedo, Ugochukwu M - NEW SIGNING, Casadei, AM - Chukwuemeka LW - Jackson, NEW SIGNING RW - Palmer, NEW SIGNING FW - NEW SIGNING, Nkunku

So, now that the season has ended (the players certainly seemed to think so last night) it feels fitting to provide a little rundown of how we put this collossal mess back into order this summer, while I wait for my bleach and rat poison daiquiri to cool down. Keepers Petrovic is decent but has a mistake in him and is still young. A very good back up and could go on to become world class if he can stop getting beaten so easily at his near post. If well-coached he could go on to become a very special goalkeeper indeed and has done enough to stay at Chelsea and fight for the number one spot. Sanchez isnt up to it and will be a very good keeper for a Championship side. Slonina needs a couple more loans. Bettinelli has a contract until 2026 when he will be 34, and is a solid third choice. Any one of about three or four youngsters could take his place at that time - we have a few very good kids in the U21s who could go on to make the step up, but nobody ready just yet, with Teddy Sharman-Lowe considered to be one of the best goalkeeping prospects we've had for many years coming through the Academy. We need a top keeper to replace Sanchez. Kepa coming back doesn't really help us. OUT: Kepa, Sanchez, (permanent) Slonina, Beach, Bergstrom, Cumming (on loans.) IN: +1 Defenders Wesley Fofana may or may not come back but Silva and Badiashile definitely wont. Disasi will get another season and we'll make Colwill the Captain next season. For me, Chalobah has played his way back into the long-term plans alongside Alfie Gilchrist. We'll sign at least one more right footed centre-half. The club have to be thinking about bringing back Bashir Humphries from loan as well, after a series of very promising loans. We're fine at right back and Cucurella has played his way back into the club's future as well to such an extent that Ben Chilwell doesn't automatically walk back into the side which is quite amazing if you think of where both were at last season. OUT: Silva, Badiashile, Sarr, Hall, Maatsen (permanent), Fofana (injury). IN: Humphries (loan) and one more right footed centre-half. +1 Midfielders Santos is doing great on loan and looks likely to get another year in Strasbourg. Casadei has come in and done well when (rarely) called upon and it will be interesting to see if he gets a loan next season or not. Gallagher looks set for an exit none of us want to see and I have a funny feeling Enzo might be on his bike too if we get a good offer for him. Ugochukwu hasn't done much wrong and will stay with the squad, Chukwuemeka the same but hopefully with more starting games once Gallagher goes. Lavia may or may not exist but we would be churlish to factor him into our plans right now. Greening will get a loan as well. If Enzo goes we will replace him but if not then we wont sign anyone. OUT: Gallagher, Vale, Enzo (permanent), Greening, Rankine, Webster (loan) IN: +1 only if Enzo leaves. Attack All change up top. Cole Palmer is the one we must retain as next season will likely be his last at the Bridge if we don't get into Europe. Mudryk will go on loan never to be seen again, Madueke looks likely to be sold or loaned until he figures out how to be a team player, and it seems unlikely Sterling will be here next season either. Lukaku will finally be sold as discussions over an improbable third stint at Chelsea seem utterly ridiculous given how well he's done in Italy. Washington, Matos, Moreira, Richards, Gabriel and Tyrique George will all go on loan. Jackson will not play up top next season and looks likely to move out to the left wing once we sign a top striker. Nkunku will be other striking option if surgeons can reattach his legs. OUT: Lukaku, Broja, Madueke, Sterling (permanent), Washington, Matos, Moreira, Richards, Gabriel, George (loan) IN: +3 (one left footed winger, one right footed winger, one top clutch striker who can hold the ball up) This leaves us with six players coming in and seven if Enzo goes. Circa £225m coming in from sales even if Enzo doesnt go, close to £300m if he does, which help FFP and provide a useful warchest to spend on the incomings. The issue we have is timing. If, as most of us agree, Poch isn't the man to take us forward and is given the old tin tack at the end of the season, it will take time to bring a replacement in and that man whoever he is will want to pick who he wants to bring in, and who he wants the club to give a second chance to. That means another summer of late, late, leaving it late and of our new signings not having a proper pre-season to bed in. This is why I feel that Poch isnt going to be sacked and that he'll be given this summer to make the adjustments necessary. I maintain that he's been exceptionally unlucky with injuries and with consistent defensive errors costing us games, strikers misfiring etc and that at its heart there is a good side there but one that needs a lot of pruning and management. Another major issue we have is a dearth of good players in the positions we need them - chiefly top goalkeepers who are able to command their box, good at moving the ball out at pace and who are good shot-stopper, and who are available. The cupboard is very bare. The situation up top is even worse, highlighted by the quandary the club seem to be in now of choosing between Lukaku who hates the club and is proven to struggle in England, and Osimhen who is ludicrously over-priced and despite being very highly rated, is always likely to struggle in England too. There isn't anyone else! Gyokeres is not a target man (neither is Osimhen to be fair), Thuram isn't available and Sesko is bang average. Evan Ferguson from Brighton a nine figure catastrophe waiting to happen as well and Ivan Toney wants Arsenal. Who else is there? Nobody. What is clear is the side lacks leadership and testicular fortitude and the new Keeper, new centrehalf and new striker will all need to bring this in spades. Also lacking sorely this season has been character. Chelsea sides of old used to go behind and you'd back them to get back into the game but this side gives no such assurances and going behind has more often than not this season, and last, meant losing. We are too easy to beat, too easy to put under pressure and too fragile mentally when thing start going wrong. Whoever we sign will need to be a calm, experienced head who is able to dig in in adversity, and force those around him to dig in as well. IF these changes can be made, at the same time as we move back within FFP rules, then things will improve. The problem is that the club has a nasty habit of buying the wrong players that do not help but exacerbate, for fees that create issues and negative press. I have basically no trust in the club to sign the players we need to get ourselves out of this mess, but i do think moving on the dead wood will be a bit easier. Replacing good players with experienced world class talent is hard when you are languishing in ninth with the club rent by internal bickering, have zero chance of European football and even less of winning anything, and with a manager who is under massive pressure and may well be offed at any time. The type of players we need to sign don't sign up for that, and the ones that do are not the ones we need. If they can sell the idea to a world class new keeper, a world class centrehalf, two world class wingers and a world class centre forward, that we are building the team around them then we'll see. I can imagine players look at our squad and do want to play with the likes of Caicedo, James, Gusto, Palmer and Colwill for example. It isnt just us and the players we are keeping who need to swallow the project, but it is the new signings as well.

Kid needs a loan. I've been saying it since he arrived. We should loan him to Pompey if they go up to the Championship, it would be superb.

I cant be the only one who enjoyed watching the Atalanta - Liverpool game IMMENSELY. Anyone else?

Thats just the point. Its the Chelsea curse. World class, true pedigree strikers with incredible strike rates come to Chelsea and founder without trace. There's no rhyme or reason to it. The more highly rated they seem to be, the worse the failure is. The only decent strikers we've had in the last 20 years were Drogba, Costa, Crespo, Anelka and for half a season, Eto'o. The list is like a who's who of European strikers. Mutu, Kezman, Pizarro, Pato, Falcao, Werner, Torres, Higuain, Morata, Shevchenko, Batshuayi, Aubameyang, Felix, Havertz, Lukaku and before them Sutton, Fleck....

Will instantly turn into the backward lovechild of Mateja Kezman and Robert Fleck, unable to trap a bag of cement and with legs like a baby giraffe in front of goal the moment he signs for us. A £100m buy who only has two modes: injured and offside. Gets comfortably outscored by Jackson next season despite starting more games. Will make Paul Furlong look like Christian Vieri.

Badiashile looks like a rabbit in the headlights now though, hard to believe its the same player. I absolutely rated him before his injury, i thought he was one of the most comfortable ball playing centre-halves we've had since Gallas. Silky smooth, always an extra gear or pace to change up to to get himself out of trouble, always clever with the way he uses his body to give him more time on the ball, great passer, great in the air.... we aren't seeing any of that now. Not sure it is fair to say Trev is finished developing. He's coming off the back of a bad injury and appears to be fitter and sharper than Badiashile. He's only 24 and has all the attributes - 6"4 so commanding in the air, versatile, physicality, good on the ball, scores goals, lacking a bit of pace perhaps but if we work on the basis that most CBs don't hit their peak until 28-29, he's got five more years to develop. The issues with his game are concentration, turns too slowly and he can have a slightly dodgy first touch, I don't think we can say he wont improve those things with a regular run of games. Whether that run of games is at Chelsea or not is open to question but lets be honest here, Silva is headed out at the end of the season, Fofana is pretty unlikely to come back to the level he was at if he comes back at all and Badiashile is struggling and is being heavily linked with a move to Italy (where i actually think he will do very well). So selling Chalobah doesnt really make sense given that we need centre-halves. Also worth bearing in mind that Trev can play anywhere across the back four and slot in at the holding midfield position as well. He's a lot more versatile than Badiashile. This Diomande lad we've been linked to - anyone know anything about him? Is he any good?

I'm sure there is an element of extreme poor fortune in the injuries, but I do agree with you that there is seemingly an issue with the medical care and advice the players are getting. Some have speculated that there is too much running and not enough gym work and recovery sessions, but we have no idea if that's true or not. I think part of it is the physical treatment the players get week in week out from teams like Sheffield United and Burnley too. Acknowledging the fact that it is a physical contact sport, I do think our players do get a difficult time physically and have done for some years.

Some thoughts about last night while I wait for my Sertraline to start working. I must warn you on what you are about to read. It is what is know in social media circles as "a spicy take", you likely will not agree with. First off, I don't think Poch did a lot wrong yesterday. We arrived at a team fighting for their Premier League survival, as Burnley were a week ago. They are exactly the sort of side we struggle against - big, physical, aggressive, hard and able to press you all over the pitch, hunting in packs, for 90s mins. They lack quality so focus solely on stopping us from playing. Knackered from a massive game that went to 101 minutes just 48 hours prior, Chelsea's injury problems meant that rotating the squad was always going to be hard and the players were leggy and did look tired. Gusto at right back was a huge miss so we missed his dynamism down that side and for much of the game Madueke struggled as well. Caicedo is in (yet more) dreadful form and wouldn't be anywhere near the side if Lavia and Ugochukwu were fit, but they weren't so he had to play. Palmer and Gallagher looked dead on their feet and Jackson more subdued than we've seen him in recent weeks , again we assume due to sheer number of minutes he has been playing. Bringing in Silva for the hapless Badiashile was a no-brainer. Despite it all, we played alright. It was likely too much to ask for us to go there, smash five past them and not break sweat. Sheff United will make you work for everything and they did - we had to work very hard. That Cucurella was our best player yesterday speaks volumes. Once again, the decent performance was undermined with s**t individual mistakes. Petrovic for their first equaliser was unforgivable and it must be said he is in poor form right now and I suspect in danger, as Sanchez did before him, of surrendering the number one jersey if someone really good comes in in the summer. Badiashile's error with his first touch after coming on at the death for their second equaliser was even worse. An absolute howler. That is the sort of mistake that kills a club career, and he's been making them for months now. My point is that but for these two mistakes we take all three points at a tough place to go and against exactly the sort of team we struggle most against. But we were undone by these errors that we are still making. I actually think tactically we did the best we could realistically have done yesterday with half the team knackered from Man United and other half in dreadful individual form. I am not sure what else Poch could have done. He made the right subs (even though one of them cost us the game, objectively it was the right decision), the team was the right one and we were one awful mistake away from the three points. I don't especially like Poch and I do question his mentality. There have been times this season where he has made terrible mistakes and cost us games, I just don't think that was the case yesterday. If you don't have a striker, your main creative outlet is knackered and carrying a knock, all your fullbacks are out injured and your midfield is leggy having played 100+ mins two days ago, what else could he have done? People point the finger at the awful season we are having but with the injuries we KEEP ON BLOODY HAVING... I think we'll get turned over at Everton and then get hammered by City at Wembley and that will be that for him. He'll be replaced in the summer. But not now. But I think you'd have to say his spell at Chelsea, dreadful and interminable though it has mainly been, can most accurately be characterised as some of the most appalling misfortune. If he'd had Chillwell, Fofana, Lavia and James fit for most of the season we would be in the European places and people would be talking about progress made and kicking on to the top four. As it is, the thing that makes some of our recruitment so bad is that we've had no option but to give 20-30 games to dross who should be out on loan or have no right being at the club at all. I think we have been really, really unlucky these last few years with injuries and so on and it has killed any chance of this side making any meaningful progress. And so last night was our season in microcosm - very unlucky not to take all three points, injuries and sh** form of those who aren't injured utterly undermining us. I am not disputing the things that ARE on Poch's doorstep in terms of responsibility. We are crap at set pieces and still most of our corners don't beat the first man. We are not clinical enough in mindset and we do switch off in games. We still struggle against low blocks. There are some questionmarks over the mentality of some in the team. That's on him. Poch is in charge but he cannot magically manufacture a 20 goal a season target man out of Jackson, teach Mudryk footballing intelligence, make Enzo a foot taller or repair James/Chillwell's dodgy hamstrings. I think Poch has become an avatar for all our misfortunes and a target for the abuse borne out of frustration about a lot of things that aren't all his fault. I don't feel sorry for him but I do feel sorry for us as a club, as his failure in the Chelsea job merely makes a poisonous chalice that bit more toxic. We have been approaching the point of no return for some time and the way things have unfolded, makes this season's end and this summer feel a bit Sliding Doors, because for the first time the manager's job is now not determined by who we bring in. Pep Guardiola and Alex Ferguson themselves wouldn't be able to do anything about our injuries, grevious misfortune, poor recruitment and expectations stupidly mismatched and detached from bitter reality. Its a Kobayashi Maru at this point, unless something miraculous happens in the summer.

Not being argumentative but Chalobah is, although limited, head and shoulders above Badiashile right now. If one has to go surely it is the latter, he has regressed disastrously.

Hear me out. A front three of Palmer, Osimhen and Nkunku with Jackson, Mudryk, Chukwuemeka and Madueke available from the bench. Paez to join fairly soon as well. Taurianen the wild card. We move on Enzo in a few months/years and Casadei takes his place. Gallagher goes and Santos steps in. Caicedo anchors the midfield with Ugochukwu his backup. Lavia too if he comes back. Castledine and perhaps Golding to add depth. We build a new defence around Colwill and a new centrehalf, plus Gilchrist, Disasi and Fofana if he comes back. Silva, Chalobah and Badiashile I think will leave, James and Gusto the right backs, a new left back and Chillwell the left backs. Petrovic the backup to a top new keeper, Sanchez and Kepa will go. Four signings, more than a dozen exits.

I was right.... until the 8th minute of 8 mins injury time added on.

3-2 United tonight. Mount to score.